What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You were trust falling into bushes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
