i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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