Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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