somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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