just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
