so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
