I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
