It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize