Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
