I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
