After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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