i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
