another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
