There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
