Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize