I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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