but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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