Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
