Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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