You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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