I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
