She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Mom said you looked used
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize