New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
