So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
