Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
