It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
