Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize