I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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