mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
