I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
