My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Randomize
