i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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