Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize