New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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