we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
