I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize