I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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