Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
