): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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