Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
