some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
