is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
