It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
