Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
