it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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