you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
