pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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