she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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