all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
