Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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