i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize