i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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