wat bout pragnant strippers??
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
