The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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