PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
