Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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