There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
