and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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