Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
