She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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